Confessions Of A GAY Guy

Despite my recent misadventures (http://theblabberingme.blogspot.com/2007/12/i-popped-big-question-she-said.html) with gender of the opposite sex, I need to declare that I am not about to abandon my straighter than a straight line orientation.

And now quickly before an army from the gay community descend onto me, I must say I have nothing against the gay community. I respect their determination to pursue their own orientation, admire their perserverance to be accepted by mainstream society, envy their courage to be someone different.

But it is something else when a guy approach me in my work cubicle one fine day and said : "I think I like you."

Good God.

While The Blabbering Me has a wealth of experience dealing with infatuated sweet young things' confessions, The Blabbering Me is ill equipped when a guy says "I Like You".

And so I could only blabber out something along the lines of : .... (acts surprise) oh! ... honoured ... appreciate ... apologies ... am very straight ... like sweet young things ... no offense ... + some other only god knows what politically correct phases.

He was a colleague of mine. And everyone who had eyes that can see knew he was gay because it was downright damn obvious.

And he was tall, he was dark, he was handsome, he was rich, he was the type of guy the sweet materialistic creatures called girls would die many many times for. Alas he was gay. He was also attached (to a guy of course).

Still I treated him as a friend, although I kept a comfortable distance between us. Must be safe what, he big and strong can rape me you know.

Then he broke up and became depressed. He wanted me to be the subsitute.

Gentle suggestions soon turned to violent demands. I now fully understand a girl's feelings when a not so suitable guy ask to go steady.

That was when I decided to authorise the use of maximum evasive manoveures. He soon got the hint after I purposely ignored and avoided him.

It was a bastard's way of solving the problem.

But you don't care so much do you?

Not when your very holy golden ass is very much at stake.